


Comparing Perfection

by relativelystupid



Category: Boondock Saints (Movies)
Genre: EASY ON MEH, F/M, M/M, NEVER WROTE THESE TWO B4., i wuz drunkzzz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:44:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relativelystupid/pseuds/relativelystupid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Murphy always thought about him, and it's not only him who's hurting. </p>
<p>(Did this while drunk. AHAHAHAHAHA.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comparing Perfection

**Author's Note:**

> **HAEEEEY, Stew here. Mah sister just gave birth to her son, and Good God, little squirt looked like lil' Seanny here. This is somehow for him, but not really. So expect a fluffy kiddie MacManus offspring soon!**
> 
>  
> 
> **IMMA TRY M-PREG, SOON..**
> 
>  
> 
> **AHAHAHA! FUCKIN' ENJOY!**

Murphy _knows_ he'll rot in hell for this.

But he pushes the thought back as he sits up the bed, his lover breathing deeply beside him, her long, inky black waves marring the pristine white pillows in a dark halo. He smiles. He was lucky. He looks around, anywhere but the gold band on his ring finger, shouting to him, calling out what stupidity he had just commited. Jesus Christ, he can't take this shit any longer. So he stands up, carefully sliding the slim, pale arm off his waist and settling it beside his wife's head, and he almost berates himself as he compares.. compares how darker her hair was to his love. His real love. He stands up, heading to the blinds as he slowly opens them, looking out to the still dark night as he counts the stars, remembering every constellation he thought Murph. One pale hand runs through his hair, almost tearing it out as he felt sheer frustration as his hair gets caught on the damn ring, making him groan in annoyance. Goddamned fucking rings. He hears shuffling, and he knows she's awake, too. She doesn't call out his name, or anything, but Murphy knows she's watching with her dark green orbs, calculating him, observing him. She slowly smiles, a sad, beautiful smile that matches the darkness of her soul, and she knows. Although, she's always known. Murphy compares, yet again. He has a laughing, sweet, cocky smile, while hers is down right sad, knowing one. Her eyes are far darker that his blues, but they drew him in, because they shared the same warmth. In some ways, he loves her, in the bottom of his heart, he loves her when she kisses his forehead as he remembers sad, secret memories, and she never judges, she also doesn't know, but somehow, she understands. He loves her when she said she was pregnant with his child, he loves her when she holds Sean, who somehow inherited his blond hair and her dark green eyes. It was perfect. But it was never what he really wanted.

"Daddy, mummy..?"

His wife stands up to pick up their child, cradling him in her arms like she did him, kissing his nose as she sang a lullaby to him as she made her way to Murphy, her smile fading as she hands him the drowsy child, pushing back his hair as he holds Sean in his arms carefully. "He looks like him, yes?" She says in her dark, melodious voice, and he can't not compare how dark and soft it was compared to his tinkling, strong voice, and she notices, looking out the window with him. "I'll never replace him, Murphy. And I accept that." She says slowly, hugging herself as she turns her head to meet his confused blue orbs, and she looks down to their creation, smiling warmly. "But I know it's a sin to be selfish.. and I think you should go back to him." Sean stirs in his arms, mumbling incoherently as he hugs his papa close, dark lashes flittering once.

"When you're with me, I know you're thinking of him,"

"I—"

"It is kinda hard settling from something second-rated when you've found the perfect one, right? Makes you compare." She mumbles softly, brushing Sean's light hair into the right place. "Sweetheart— I.. what..?" Murphy stutters, knowing completely what she means. But he threw him out long ago. He was a sick, sick man, he said. He was a worthless, stupid fairy. He was not a Saint, he was a sinner. "But- he threw me away," the pale MacManus said softly, looking at his son with sad eyes. "He's hurting, and so are you. I know he regrets that he let you go. But it's time to stop dancing around it, dammit. It's been five years." She chuckles, leaning her forehead on the glass of the window and huffing, making the glass moist so she could draw a smiley face. "It's been five years, and you need to do this before I hurt myself more," Her green eyes flickered morosely, and she sighed heavily.

"It's alright, you know. Ma wouldn't know."

Then, she smiles, taking back their son. "I love—loved you. I know you did, too." And she walks back to Sean's room, her footsteps so quiet he barely registers her going out. He notices tears falling down his cheeks. Why was she like this? How could she know so much? How could she understand when he's been lying to her all their years together? When he finishes crying, he's in Connor's arms, whimpering soft words as his love thrusts into him, hands bruising his hips, lips sealing his love. She was right, he did regret what he did. As he loops his arms around Connor's neck, sobbing as he finally looks into his blue eyes, not green, and he decides, this is where he belongs, this is where he'll stay.

"Ma, where's papa?"

"He's free now, darling."

"Oh. When will he be coming back?"

"I don't know, sweetheart. But I know he'll come back for you."

"What about you, Mama?"

"I'm okay, luv."

Bonnie Knight looks out the window, where her husband left his ring, and it reminds her she did the right thing. "Don't worry, Mama. I'll be strong for you until Papa comes back." Sean shoves a spoon of cereal into his mouth, smiling cheekily at his mother. "I know, sweetheart. I know."

**Author's Note:**

> **SHITTY HANGOVERS, BUT WELL. LOVE YOU GUYS, SEE YAAAAA.**
> 
>  
> 
> **STEW, OUT! *BROFIST***


End file.
